The Year: 2091

The Year: 2091

The year is 2091

I am old and frail

But I recognise you, still

In the distant morning sun

As I walk down the long garden trail

Alone

Every Saturday

Without stopping

Without fail

 

This time

I take my time, slowly, towards the Coffee Shop at the end

Can it be, after all these years

That I am finally seeing you,

Again?

Through the long grown green bushes, down the yellow path

My heart beats

One

Two

Three

Oh

 

And All I See

Is You

Through my tears

Standing there, with your walking stick

And thin dimpled smile

And white hair

Blowing in the wind, without a care

Is it you, Is it you?

I touch your arm lightly,

And I know you, I know you

I say.

 

and I Smile back

ever so slightly.

 

Hello, Hello

You do, You do

We met over 80 years ago

On this very same day

In fact

 

Today, I left the hospital behind

And came to find you.

I couldn’t stay away any longer

And I know you come by this way

Every weekend, for the past few years, during May

 

I saw you once, you know, when you weren’t looking

You were sitting over there, by the pond

Scrapbooking

And you looked so glorious in the midday sun

Like the day I saw you in London

When you were signing your books

And greeting your fans

 

But you didn’t know, you didn’t know

That I came and stood at the back

All those years ago

Hoping to catch you

At one of your sold-out shows

 

You didn’t see me though

You didn’t see me go

To the tree you mentioned

The one that hangs low

 

I went and sat in the shade

My head against your works, watching the sunlight fade

Under the clouds, on the grass, in the corner of Hyde Park

on a long day, it was, during the middle of March

 

And You don’t know, You don’t know

How I’ve read your words over and over

In the books, and the blog posts

In the comments, and the grey papers

You mention me

All over 

 

In your Art, and Your Eyes

I can see

My green shirt

And Aztec print jumper

In the tall glass building

Where we first met 

Sometime between the summer and winter

I remember, I remember too

Don’t think I don’t

Because I do, I do

 

That’s why I came today,

I came looking for you.

I need to say something

Before my days are over, and everything turns misty blue

And you are beyond my reach

And there are no more chances for us, to meet 

I’m sorry, I’ve never said it before

I never knew, that you wanted more

But here I am, and it’s true

I love you,

I love you too.

Meet me in March

Meet me in March

My days are empty
They are devoid of meaning
But one day I told myself, what is there really to lose?
So I asked you to come and meet me, by the tube station, next to the greenery, at noon

When you walked up to me, dimples deep and beaming
and asked me how I was doing,
I couldn’t help but look up
and smile with all my might and feeling

I’m glorious I said, how are you, where do you plan on going?
Let’s not go too far, you say
How about that park over there?
I nod silently, let you take my hand, and finally lead the way

I haven’t seen you in so long, you look amazing, I’m sorry I’ve never said it more
It’s ok, don’t worry, it’s not like we’ve met like this many times before
But we should, you say, with no explanation given
But your eyes tell me something, and I wonder if there are any feelings you keep hidden

I’ve missed you, you say, and I return with a smile, you too
Why don’t we lie on the grass, and you can tell me what you’ve been up to, from your art to the new you

The sky goes dark, as we make our way down to the grass
But your laughter
It breaks through the clouds surrounding my heart
And for a moment,
I am reminded of the time
When we first met,
in the tall glass building
At university,
when everything was brand new
I was nineteen, and confused
You wondered in,
through an unknown door
Eighteen and cool
And that was it,
you were all I saw.
You glanced at me,
And I withdrew.
Like ancient souls, in love
meeting anew.

Now you’ve grown and as we lie here
All I can do, is look at you, as my words float away
Your smile, it is sunlight through layers of grey
I have no idea what I’m saying, but what does it matter anyway
If I look at you any longer, I’m sure you’ll know
The things that my words do not convey
Everything I wish for, but cannot say

I feel alive again, but you don’t see
because I hide it so well
You’ll never know
You could never tell
Of all the nights I couldn’t sleep
After those rare occasions, when we’d meet
And discuss all the possibilities of our future selves
The tales of all the people you planned to save and help
Me and my writing, the stories I hoped to create for endless shelves
And then you would leave, and you would always remain
blissfully unaware of everything you meant
to my present
and
past self.

I can feel your warm hands in my cold ones
And this feeling, it’s unknown to me
But I wish I could hold onto it forever because I know this is it,
this is what will save me.

And even though I know it’s momentary,
that we will soon part
and that this will all be a distant memory
Seeing you again, after so many years, has made me realise
the darkness that I sit upon everyday
Will always be there
As long as you and I remain apart.

So I suggest it, once more, let’s see each other again, I say
Meet me on the third Saturday of March
Under the long stemmed tree, in the corner of Hyde Park
Where we can lie on the grass and catch up like old friends,
And pretend like there’s nothing between us,
over and over again.

So I met a man…

So I met a man…

I was on a boat (don’t ask me why I was on a boat)
And a man approached, confidently
In a suit, through the crowd, afloat
He said hello there, we glanced at each other from across the room
And I just had to come over, and introduce myself to you

We spoke for a moment or two
About who we were and who we knew
Before he exclaimed, so you are both beautiful and intelligent, what a rarity for this to be true!
Can I take you to dinner, today, tomorrow, anytime, whatever you wish
Please, do not say nay
Women like you are hard to come by,
It is not something of the everyday

I apologise for my forthrightness
But I cannot see anything else beyond you, in your striking dress
I speak nothing but the truth, and from me, you can expect nothing less
Do not reject me I beg of you, lest you enjoy watching lovers suffer
I am happy to give you all that I have, the best a man can offer

I am flattered, but I cannot, you see, I have standards, walls, barriers, that you cannot climb, that you cannot meet
Do not be offended, it is simply not meant to be
Maybe some other time, when I am truly in need, but for now I am happy being free,
forgive me sir,
but can I ask you to leave?

Oh so you’re one of them are you
Better than the rest
Making every man jump through multiple hoops and tests
You won’t even consider the possibility, the chance of something more
How can you be so sure,
That you’ll never second guess?

I said stop, stop surmising me with your theories and nonsense
I don’t have time for this, I’m not for one who remains on the fence
My answer is no, I’m sorry you don’t like to hear it
There’s a time and place for this, and it’s not right now
Don’t press it.

He said you’ll be by yourself, you’ll be alone for a very long time.
I’ve noticed, that you don’t even look at the 99% of men.
I said whatever, get lost, I’m willing to wait for the 1%.
I repeat, he said, hear my words, you’ll be alone for a very long time.
Don’t be so cold my dear,
You’ll remember this and
You’ll regret it.

Where are all the good men?

Where are all the good men?

Today, I asked myself

Where are all the good men?

Who don’t bicker and dismiss

Their loved ones with a hiss

With a side glance and a kiss

I love you, they say, they persist

I’ll be there in a moment, not long now, they insist

Only to turn away

And go back to living the lies

of their daily

uneventful

lives

 

Where are all the good men

I wonder

Who don’t look at you and sigh

Wish to say something but remain silent, hide

behind the walls of their armour, their pride

Who wait in the shadows, feelings in disguise

In the spaces and moments between time

glances so telling

naked

more lies

 

Where are all the good men

who are brave enough to say how they feel

that everything they want today, tomorrow, is real

that their heart is there for the taking, for the steal

that theirs is the eternal promise,

unwavering

unforgiving

Bound by loyalties of all kinds

And it’s all for you

No more lies

 

Where are all the good men

I ponder, as I watch you through the window, alone

Asunder

Where are all the good men, I say

Who do not fear mistakes, who value what you have to offer

and all that is at stake

all the compromises you make

day in day out

for their happiness, for their sake

 

Where are all the good men

who appreciate

the lull that comes with age,

the warmth that come with your words,

the wisdom that comes with your trust

The good men, who take your hand

and lead the way

to lands far away

to breathtaking heights

Who lie awake at night

under the moon’s light

to make sure your dreams are full and bright

and demons are banished, out of sight

 

Where are all the good men, I wonder

After spotting you stay behind

After a long hard day, standing outside

beyond the glass planes, under the broken umbrella

I watch

As you hover, left and right, side to side

In the cold rain with your pale face and curly hair, never mind

I watch you wait, hour after hour

and wonder

how can you stand there

and not wonder.